The Movie Laier

Hunk (dir. Lawrence Bassoff, 1987)

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 05:48:37 -0400

THE GIST: Before someone had the idea to re-make Bedazzled, someone else had the idea to rip it off. That rip off in question is Hunk. Hunk tells the story of Bradley Brinkman. He’s a computer nerd who makes programs all day for a mean Greek dude. He tells his computer he would sell his soul for a million dollar computer program. His wish is granted and suddenly the Greek dude isn’t so mean anymore. Bradley doesn’t know how it happened and takes credit for it anyway. He uses his money to get put up in a beach house where he eventually sells his soul to the devil to become a sexy dude with a bigger dick. There is actually a shot of the bulge in his pants becoming larger in his sleep.

It should come as no surprise that this movie came out in the eighties. A time were neon colors were supreme. Hunk is just as cheesy as all the cheesy movies that came out of this decade. This is usually a source of fun for me and my friends. There are times when the movie is down right intolerable though. Especially with the narration. Just so we’re clear. Bradley sells his soul to the devil and assumes the identity of a new man. A man named Hunk Golden. That’s right. They named him Hunk. So when I call him Hunk, that’s not me trying to be silly. That’s the way this movie rolls.

So the movie opens with Hunk driving to meet a therapist after one too many close ups of his naked body in the shower. He tells the therapist that he has one crazy story to tell her. Hunk narrates us through past events but he is only telling us things that we are watching happen. The script must’ve read something like this.

HUNK (V.O)

I decided it was time to go for a drive.

Bradley gets in a car.

HUNK (V.O)

But then I realized I was out of gas.

Bradley looks to see that the fuel gauge is on empty.

HUNK (V.O.)

What was I going to do?

Bradley grabs his hair and slams his head on the steering wheel while 80’s music plays.

This is not the purpose of a narrator in a film. If we can see what’s happening then we don’t need to be told what is happening. This goes on for the first half of the movie until the past events meet up with the present. Then we are treated to a bunch of scenes of the devil himself showing up in zany costumes like a scuba diver and talking about how Hunk will be used to start World War 3. That’s how high the stakes are in Hunk. One guy decides he isn’t getting his dick sucked enough and all of a sudden we’re about to reach the end of the world. Perhaps this is some kind of allegory to the Holocaust.

The best part about this movie is trying to spot Brad Pitt. IMDB has him listed as Guy at Beach with Drink. There are a lot of beach scenes to comb through. I think I found him but my friends aren’t convinced. I’m pretty sure that if you correctly spot Brad Pitt and send him a copy of the movie with his character highlighted then he’ll send you back your copy broken in half.

Safe House (dir. Daniel Espinosa, 2012)

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 04:06:14 -0500

The genre of the spy movie thriller has been done time and time again. The story is always going to be pretty cookie cutter. Somebody has stolen something. Crooks want it. A boy scout tries to prove himself. Everybody acts like the CIA/FBI/MI6/whoever is suppose to be on the protagonist’s side isn’t behind it all until the third act. I don’t understand why all these movies don’t just use the same footage of people standing around headquarters and yelling out lines like, “Get me everything there is to know,” or “Follow protocol.” It would definitely save studios the time and money of getting name actors. (Vera Farmiga, Brendon Gleeson and Sam Shepard of the honor of spewing out that mumbo jumbo in this one.) The only thing you can do is inspire things with cool action sequences and compelling actors.

Safe House delivers on both those. Denzel Washington is probably the most compelling actor in Hollywood right now. He puts purpose and motive behind every line of dialogue and facial expression in rogue CIA operative Tobin Frost. Aiding him along the way is Ryan Reynolds’ character Matthew Westin (Burn Notice nod?). Reynolds is someone I believe worthy enough to be the next George Clooney. He just hasn’t taken off the way I thought he would. With that said, he seems to be at his best when not having to carry a film. He does a great job co-headlining a film with someone of Washington’s caliber. Makes me think of Ryan Reynolds as the Chris Bosh of Hollywood.

The action scenes are well done. One sequence takes place in a stadium during a world cup game. I doesn’t seem that new but it might end up being the most memorable part of the film for me. There’s also a fight sequence between Reynolds and actor Joel Kinnaman that has similarities to the Jason Bourne movies. Speaking of similarities, I just assumed this movie was directed by Tony Scott and didn’t even bother to look it up. It is an action film with Denzel as the star and the film uses the same cinematography used on Unstoppable and Man On Fire. I don’t want to call director Daniel Espinosa a hack or anything but dude really needs to develop his own style. Otherwise, I’ll keep thinking he is Tony Scott even long after Tony Scott dies.

If you’re a fan of Denzel Washington or convoluted spy thrillers then I would say to go check this one out. If you’re not a fan of car chases and running around like my father then I would skip it.

2011 Wrap Up

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 05:51:35 -0500

Before I can start digging into the new releases that 2012 is offering up I’ve got to pay recognition to the films of 2011. Overall I saw 47 new film releases in 2011 and I would say it was a good year. A year that saw plenty of Ryan Gosling and a little too much of Daniel Craig. So thank you 2011. It was fun. Here are my five favorite films from 2011.

DRIVE/FAST FIVE

I’m taking the easy way out here by having both these films share my number one spot. Bear with me. Both this films pumped testosterone through me with their car stunts and chase scenes. These films also featured the best groups of characters all year. The only way that you could possibly improve either of these movies would be to combine them together. Nothing would make a better movie than to see the silent rage of Ryan Gosling’s Driver butt heads with the too cool for school nature of Vin Diesel’s Dominic. Meanwhile you could have The Rock, Albert Brooks and Ron Perlman all together in the perfect subplot.

The point is that fast cars and ripping off powerful crooks will never get old in the world of cinema. These two films are the ying and yang of that proclamation. From the indie darling to the blockbuster. I want more where this came from in 2012.

SOURCE CODE

Science fiction will always be my favorite genre and I really believe in Jake Gyllenhaal as an A list actor. Duncan Jones does his second film after the wonderful Moon. It’s great because of how tender the film can get in between the pressure of taking down a domestic terrorist. The film also has one of the single greatest shots in a film of 2011 at the end in a moment of pure euphoria.

RANGO

For awhile Pixar has had a strangle hold on animated films but after offering up a Cars sequel Nickelodeon and Gore Verbinski had a chance to catch everyone’s attention. This film is absolutely gorgeous. It also has a deep subtext to it and a Hunter S. Thompson nod that is just as rich as the film itself. This film also really shows how voice acting is done. I thought I might’ve been sick of Johnny Depp by the time this rolled around but he really is great at what he does. Just talking about this film makes me want to pop in the DVD right now.

MONEYBALL

I love baseball so no one was exactly twisting my arm to see this. The hardest thing about adapting any book is establishing perspective. Bennett Miller throws it all on Brad Pitt’s Billy Beane and it pays off. We take emotional cues from his performance when we should feel triumph and when we should feel disappointment. We don’t always agree with the character but we understand him. I wanted to leap out of my chair when Scott Hatteberg hit that home run even though I knew it was going to happen. Baseball and movies are two of my unconditional loves. This was a perfect marriage in the baseball film canon.

CAPTAIN AMERICA

Many people maybe feel burned out from the superhero genre but I’m not. Not when Captain America is the most well developed superhero character I’ve seen on screen in almost a decade. Steve Rogers was an American hero before he ever got his powers. The film shows us the journey of a man aspiring for all the things that were once of fantasy. Yeah. The film could’ve used a better narrative but this is the best superhero movie since The Dark Knight and Steve Rogers is the best developed character in any movie of the last two years. I said it. Eat it.

Honorable Mentions:50/50, Bridesmaids, Contagion, Insidious, Win Win

Those five films remind me of the fun of movies. Of course there are some movies that I wish never saw the light of day. Here are my five least favorite films of 2011.

YOUR HIGHNESS

This movie only has one gag. That’s characters talking in old english and mixing in swear words. I like Danny McBride but holy shit did this movie become tiring after the first five minutes. Jokes about rape and molestation abound as well. David Gordon Green had indie cred once upon a time but he blew it to hell with this. If you find this movie funny then fucketh you, peasant.

SUCKER PUNCH

Just what in the hell was this exactly? Inception with push up bras? A video game movie without the video game? One homage after another? I don’t know but I’ve never been so over stimulated and so bored to tears. I wanted to walk out after the first twenty minutes but my girlfriend at the time insisted we stay. I can only assume this movie is the reason we’re no longer together.

RED STATE

I hate Kevin Smith. I think he’s self absorbed and that he has about as much range as a toddler’s swing on a PGA golf course. So he does horror here but there is nothing horrifying. Sure, you’ve got disturbing imagery but that’s what Saw did for the last 7 years so you have to come harder than that. The film is anti-climatic and ends up being a big “fuck off” to religious fundamentalists. Stop wasting our time with this bullshit, Kevin. Heat yourself up another hot pocket and polish off another draft of Clerks 3 instead.

GREEN LANTERN

For every Captain America there’s bullshit superhero movies like this. You’ve got hot wheel tracks, Blake Lively as a sexy pilot and Peter Saarsgaard with a huge head. What you don’t have is anything compelling. Why is Angela Bassett in this? I would have rather the Green Lantern projected a giant middle finger out of his ring for 90 minutes. At least that way it would’ve had a point.

COWBOYS & ALIENS

This film isn’t as bad as the other films mentioned. I actually feel bad including this on here but I needed a fifth film. It’s on this list because of how much I was anticipating it. So I got let down hard. The battle sequences were uninspired. Harrison Ford mumbled and stumbled his way through to the end and Daniel Craig seemed as clueless as his character did as to what was actually going on. Oh yeah. I was also led to believe I was going to see Olivia Wilde’s tits. Was robbed of that.

There we have it. The five best and five worst films of 2011. Time to get cracking on 2012.

The Movie Event of 2012

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 05:40:47 -0500

I’m an aspiring screenwriter. I think I’ve got some pretty good ideas for movies and hopefully someday Hollywood is going to produce one of those ideas. A lot of times I go see a movie and afterwards think to myself, “I could’ve written that.” On a rare occasion a movie comes along that blows my mind. A movie that I know my brain couldn’t give birth to in a million years. The rare occasion has happened. Hold on to your assholes. Glue your teeth into your jawline. It’s coming. The movie event of the millennium. It is about salmon fishing. Salmon fishing in the Yemen. A fucking Hollywood studio production about fucking salmon fishing in the fucking Yemen!

Hollywood executive: “We’ve got gold in the hills, men! We’ve got salmon! We’ve got the Yemen! Now we need a title.”

Some other Hollywood gas bag: “How about Salmon Fishing In the Yemen?”

Hollywood executive: “I like it. Real subtle.”

This is a movie that is coming out. A movie about a fish expert trying to introduce fly fishing in the desert because some goofy sheik wants it to be so. This is a movie getting a wide theatrical release. This is a movie with name actors Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt. This is a movie someone believes is going to delve into some unknown demographic for lots of money. I saw the trailer New Years Day when I went to go see TinTin. I’ll break down the trailer for you.

Emily Blunt calls Ewan McGregor, the fishing expert, to bring Yemen some salmon. He explains that salmon can’t survive in those conditions. He runs into a glass wall, literally. Movie should be over right about there. It’s not.

Some political lady wants a feel good story coming out of the Middle East and chooses the salmon story. She then forces Ewan McGregor into getting salmon fishing to the Yemen. Fuck medical supplies, fuck food, fuck charitable donations to the Middle East. Get the man his salmon. Then everyone will stop bitching about the war.

Then the trailer tells us that the salmon fishing isn’t just for some sheik to throw more money into his hobbies. It’s to prove to the people that miracles can happen. It’s so Ewan McGregor’s character can learn not to be a dull nobody and be a somebody. A somebody who holds hands with Emily Blunt and thinks the sport of fishing alone can save the world.

I don’t give a shit. It’s still salmon fishing. First we had Steve Martin, Owen Wilson and Jack Black in a movie about bird watching. Now we have a movie about even more boring outdoor activities. I should write a script about catching butterflies. Then Columbia will pick it up and get Christian Bale and Emma Stone to star. It’ll be just them goofily running around meadows with nets. Seriously though? Salmon fishing in the Yemen? Who gives a fuck?

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 01:06:02 -0500

I’m a fan of this franchise. It’s a concept that lends itself to multiple sequels and allows different directors to come in and mold something different out of it. The series is on it’s fourth director (Brad Bird) after having Brian De Palma, John Woo and JJ Abrams leave their prints on the franchise and it is the better for it. It’s also a concept that loves to slew around in implausibility. So many crazy gadgets and stunts that require no real explanation because they’re so damn cool. Also, I’ve always been a fan of Tom Cruise. He’s funny, charming and can headline a franchise like few people can these days. With all this considered, I honestly don’t think you need to be a fan of the franchise to enjoy this movie.

I’ve always believed that the audience is safe watching a movie as long as it’s in the hands of a good director. Brad Bird has given us The Incredibles. That alone qualifies him to direct any movie you plan on seeing. The man doesn’t disappoint as he flawlessly crafts his action sequences here as he always remains in the moment, not really care what happened in the last scene or what’s suppose to happen in the next. It works because I few times I thought to myself, “Oh no. Ethan Hunt is about to die,” but then he doesn’t and I whip the sweat off of my brow.

The film also balances itself out with a good helping of humor, most of it provided by Simon Pegg. I don’t think Pegg makes for much of a leading man outside of the hands of Edgar Wright but giving him a supporting role in a film immediately makes it better. His character isn’t bumbling or annoying. He’s just excited to be part of the team. You can’t help but absorb his glee.

The movie also zips by in a hurry. Stop paying attention for more than a minute and you won’t know where they’re going or why they’re going. It happened to me so I had to make up some of the narrative to fill in the gaps. Agent Carter (Paula Patton) had to seduce an Indian billionaire because the team really wanted to attend his party and get Kindles as parting gifts. This may or may not be a spoiler.

Overall, I had a lot of fun watching it. I hope they make more movies and keep passing them on to different directors. It would be exciting for my generation to have Ethan Hunt be it’s James Bond.

The Embarrassed List: Part 1

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:01:30 -0500

Last night I went to Edgar Wright’s film festival. For this year’s festival he is showing films he is embarrassed to say that he has never seen. This got me thinking about movies I’m embarrassed to say I’ve never seen. So I’m beginning to make a list in order to rectify the situation. I am referring to this as my Embarrassed List. Some of you will look at this and be like, “I can’t believe you’ve never seen that.” Believe it. Edgar has taught me that you shouldn’t say that to people and I agree. It’s belittling. So don’t do it unless the person in question has never seen Jaws or The Goonies. Those are the only two exceptions. You don’t even need to like movies to enjoy those films. They’re timeless.

To qualify on the embarrassed list it has to be a classic film. Cult or whatever. I don’t count something like The Vicious Kind, an independent film no one has really heard of but I really want to see . These are all films everyone has heard of or at least should know of. Also, it doesn’t count if I’m not actually embarrassed to have never seen it. I know My Fair Lady is a classic but I’d still rather watch The Blues Brothers for the fiftieth time. That’s taste for you.

So, with no further ado, here is part 1 of my Embarrassed List. I hope this will motivate people to finally catch up on the films that keep escaping them.

BONNIE & CLYDE: This is a film that I know I need to see but haven’t because I’ve seen parts of it in class and know the whole story. That’s still no excuse. I know the film is exceptional and I know I will love it.

DEER HUNTER: I’m not one for war movies, much less movies about Vietnam but this film has a young Robert De Niro and Christopher Walken. It also won a boat load of awards including Best Picture.

THE EXORCIST: Supposedly the scariest and greatest horror film of all time. Why haven’t I seen this? I know the whole deal behind it and I don’t really dig movies about the devil. Still no excuse though. I need to see it.

THE GODFATHER: My biggest embarrassment yet. I’ve actually lied to people and told them I’ve seen it just so they wouldn’t yell at me. I keep telling myself I don’t like mob movies but I know that isn’t true. Time to repent for this sin.

THE GODFATHER II: The only sequel to have ever won Best Picture. Holy hell. I’ve got a double feature planned over the next few weeks.

HEAT: Now it just looks like I’ve been ducking De Niro and Pacino films. I like Michael Mann a lot.

IT’S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD: I sort of wrote off all comedies before 1980 for not having my sense of humor. I know that to not be true now after seeing some Cary Grant films. I saw this film’s remake, Rat Race, so there’s no excuse for not seeing the superior version.

METROPOLIS: You really don’t get any classier than a Fritz Lang film. I loved M. Now a need to see Lang’s contribution to cinema that is a landmark in history.

RAGING BULL: Another De Niro film. Ah! This one directed by Martin Scorcese. I love Taxi Driver. That makes this a must watch.

TOOTSIE: Dustin Hoffman is my favorite actor of all time. I still don’t have a clue why I haven’t seen this yet.

There we have it. Ten films I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen. I’m sure there are plenty more that I haven’t though of yet but I’ll get right on it as soon as I knock these ten out.

X-Men:First Class (dir. Matthew Vaughn, 2011)

Sat, 04 Jun 2011 17:03:51 -0400

PLOT OVERVIEW: Professor X (James McAvoy) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender) are young men in the 60’s. World War Three is about to happen so they have to recruit a rag tag group of mutants to keep that from happening.

There are many arguments as to which movie spurned the entire superhero movie genre. Batman and Superman don’t count because at the time they were just action movies with characters in kooky costumes. Plus, there had already been countless film representations of the two heroes.

X-Men (dir. Bryan Singer, 2000) was probably the one to quick start the genre. It was an honest film that explored undertones of xenophobia while still pleasing to long time comic book fans. Three years later the sequel was released and was actually better than the original. A rarity in Hollywood. Then Brett Ratner happened. It all but ruined the franchise but then a Wolverine solo movie somehow managed to be worse. I’d have to say that X-Men:First Class is probably a sequel/prequel that nobody asked for. It kind of snuck up on me. I didn’t even know it was in production until I suddenly saw a TV spot for it. I scratched my head and thought, “Really?”

Luckily, the studio chose to start from scratch and Bryan Singer agreed to produce a new take on the X-Men. The two biggest strengths of the movie are having Matthew Vaughn as its director and casting Michael Fassbender. Vaughn proved his strength in the superhero genre last year with Kick Ass and he proves he’s the go to guy for comic adaptations with First Class. Fassbender put himself on the map with his appearance in Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards and he makes Magneto into the anti-hero you want to root for. James McAvoy plays Professor X like a scoundrel. He picks up co-eds in bars and walks around with confidence that bridges over into arrogance. It’s fun for the most part but it can get silly too. Especially when he walks around, holding a finger to his temple and narrating everything going on in the movie.

All the best parts are the ones including Magneto. It’s really his story as he searches for the man who killed his mother in the concentration camps. Everything else surrounding it is as developed as a Saturday morning cartoon. That includes a lot of the CGI in the film. The film also sports a great cameo that is too good to spoil. It’s a very good film but I worry what would’ve happened had this film been more Professor X than Magneto.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Awkward. There’s a part where our villain Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) is addressing a young group of mutants. He says something along the lines of, “You have two choices. Enslavement or…,” and as soon as he says “enslavement” the movie cuts to a lingering close up of the only black character in the film. It was rather jarring and I started laughing over how awkward it felt. I don’t have a clue whether this was intentional or not.

PAUL VERSUS : Today I pit my review up against the Village Voice’s film critic, Karina Longworth. Here’s what she said.

“Lacking a single memorable joke or striking image, First Class is as perfunctory and passionless as would-be franchise resurrections get.”

I don’t know why she’s complaining about a lack of jokes in an action movie. I wonder if she complained about there not being one serious moment in Airplane! Even then, there’s a great joke that I won’t spoil but everyone in my theater laughed and applauded.

Karina does not consider a character pulling a submarine out of the ocean using only his mind as a striking image. Jesus Christ himself could not impress Karina Longworth.

THOR (dir. Kenneth Branagh, 2011)

Sun, 08 May 2011 20:52:46 -0400

PLOT OVERVIEW: Thor (Chris Hemsworth) gets exiled to Earth by his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) after starting shit with the frost giants. Thor then walks around as a mortal, making girls wet. Meanwhile back home, his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is living up to the moniker of the god of mischief.

The superhero genre is beginning to wear thin. Perhaps that started with the disappointing sequels Spiderman 3 and Iron Man 2. None of that matters though. Marvel has an Avengers movie to make and that means Thor gets his own movie in the meantime. Perhaps though Thor is just what the doctor ordered to freshen up the genre. This is in fact a superhero based off a character in Norse mythology. There isn’t an origin story involving discovered powers as Thor was simply born to be awesome. Unfortunately though, Thor is the least developed Marvel movie character thus far.

Thor is a complete dick in the beginning of the film. He desperately wants to inherit his father’s crown. So when a group of frost giants (it’s the movie’s job to explain what those are, not mine) break into the palace on the day of his coronation ceremony, Thor goes balastic. He goes to the home of the frost giants to yell fuck you at each of them. This puts his friends and his homeland in danger.

Good start. Let’s see how this selfish guy eventually becomes a superhero. Well, Thor goes to Earth but suddenly he’s not a dick anymore. He’s actually very charming and helpful. The only dickish things he does involve smashing a coffee mug and walking into a pet shop and demanding a horse. I can’t pinpoint the part in the movie where Thor is suddenly a stand up guy. He has zero development. I guess being exiled to Earth was a humbling enough experience but the film should have at least one scene that depicts this. Or you know what? Thor gets hit by a car twice in the movie. Maybe he just forgot he was a dick because of all the trauma. I’ll live with that explanation.

The movie is pretty damn funny though. Director Kenneth Branagh has made a reputation off of adapting Shakespeare plays. He’s adept at the comedic timing in those works and applies it to Thor. The movie actually makes for a better comedy than it does an action flick. Thor only ever finds himself at battle three times in the film. In between those battles we get lots of Norse mythology mumbo jumbo and astrophysics mumbo jumbo thanks to Natalie Portman’s character, Jane. So thankfully we get to laugh a lot.

Thor isn’t terrible but it isn’t spectacular. Especially when comparing it to other Marvel films. The pacing of the film is off. It honestly doesn’t have a clue on how to tell the story of Thor and as a result, the film is half baked.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Abrupt. Many of the film’s plot and character developments come seemingly from nowhere. Thor and Jane fall in love. Why? Don’t know. They don’t have common interests other than a fascination of rainbow bridges (once again, it is the film’s job to explain this). They fall in love because that’s what happens in all the other movies. Hell, I don’t even know why Loki does all the evil shit he does other than because he is the film’s villain. Also, Jeremy Renner shows up in the film abruptly. So this movie is for you if you like things happening without having to care why they’re happening.

A SECOND OPINION: “Thor is a perfectly fine summer movie. There was some good action and (surprisingly) enough comedy to keep me entertained the whole time. I felt it was a little short, though. We quickly go from Thor being the brash and arrogant Norse God to a pretty nice dude once he’s on Earth. This would probably be on par with Iron Man if it didn’t seem to be missing those one or two scenes of character development where Thor finds a reason to protect innocents other than “Natalie Portman is cute.” Also, it feels strange that none of the gods suspect Loki is up to no good sooner. If I’m Odin, I know right off the bat that my forcibly adopted child who is known for mischief and general douchebaggery is the one who let the Frost Giants sneak into the Asgardian armory. Oh, and Idris Elba as Heimdall is awesome.” - Dave Johnson

WIN WIN (dir. Tom McCarthy, 2011)

Sun, 24 Apr 2011 17:18:44 -0400

PLOT OVERVIEW: Mike (Paul Giamatti) has quite a lot in the toilet. His law practice isn’t making him any money and the wrestling team he coaches is always losing. He takes advantage of one of his client’s (Burt Young) to make some extra money but soon his client’s grand son, Kyle (Alex Shaffer), shows up. You’d think that’s where it gets sticky but Kyle turns out to be a great wrestler. So Kyle makes Mike a proud wrestling coach while Mike is taking advantage of his grandfather. Eventually things do get sticky but until then let’s watch Kyle kick some butt.

We see lots and lots of sports movies. Personally, I think no sport serves as a better metaphor for life than wrestling does. Wrestling has an individual in your way and literally holding you down, preventing you from succeeding so that he/she can have that success from themselves. There is no team aspect either. It’s you all alone out there; either getting or taking a pin. That’s what happens anytime you interview for a job or apply for school. Getting your shot generally involves taking someone else’s away.

The character of Mike Flaherty in Win Win is an example of this philosophy. He’s a man in fear of letting down his wife and kids. He takes a measure to prevent that but it involves removing his own client, Leo, out of his home against his wishes and sticking him in a nursing home. The films his a few other examples of this. One being Bobby Canavale’s character who’s wife leaves him for the contractor he hired himself. Somebody always has to be sacrificed.

The script isn’t anything too spectacular but the cast is so good that they can breathe life into a third grade production of Waiting For Godot. Paul Giamatti is never not great. Amy Ryan plays Mike’s tough cookie of a wife. Alex Shaffer makes his big screen debut is Kyle. You can tell he’s never acted before. The way he talks in the same voice and never emotes unless it’s in a tiny emo scream. It works for the character though. Kyle is a badass who’s use to handling problems in a physical manner. That’s proven by a funny scene where Kyle is pissed at Mike and starts wrestling him. It’s awkward for Kyle to have to articulate his pain so it looks and sounds awkward as a result. This is either a genius acting choice or a genius casting choice.

There’s also plenty of smiles for the viewer as Kyle wins matches and begins forming bonds with everyone on the team and in town. Mike is a good guy deep down even though he does a terrible thing. His character grants the audience a bitter sweet ending but like the tagline says, “You can’t lose them all.”

WHAT’S THE WORD: Nostalgia. I wrestled on my high school wrestling team and this movie had me recounting my amateur career. I wasn’t anywhere near as good as Kyle but I pulled out some big victories. My last match had me subbing in for a guy who didn’t make weight. I weighed in at 161 pounds that day and wrestled in the 189 weight class. I pinned the guy. It’s the closest I’ve come to feeling like an athletic god. A moment that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.

SUPER CHEESY FILM CRITIC SAYS: “Win Win is definitely a win. What a winning cast with a winning script and a winning director. You won’t leave the theater feeling like you’ve just been body slammed. You’ll leave feeling like you’ve won.” Please watch movies with me to avoid having to hear from super cheesy film critic.

Scream 4 (dir. Wes Craven, 2011)

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 19:57:20 -0400

PLOT OVERVIEW: Sidney (Neve Campbell) is taking a stop through Woodsboro on her book tour. Then Ghostface is back at it again. Officer Dewey (David Arquette) and Gail Weathers (Courtney Cox) also are back into the fray.

I was harping on the horror movie genre a few posts ago. About the trends horror movies go through and how things have gotten stagnant as of late. Unintentionally I started harping on the subject with the impending release of Scream 4. A movie that is the manifestation of horror movie trends and cliches. The rules really have changed and it’s refreshing to see how director Wes Craven and screenwriter Kevin Williamson have to say about the genre these days.

Like I said about Shutter Island, this film is very enjoyable if you don’t bother yourself with the plot. The film plays out as a commentary on horror remakes (something Craven is famliar with after seeing three of his own films remade), grisly violence in film and new age plot twists. The movie starts out with not one but two openings for fake films. At one point we’re actually watching a film within a film within a film. That’s not even as meta as it gets. I’d go on but that involves spoiling the plot but it’s probably one of the kookier film sequences I’ve seen in years. For better or worse.

The film is rewarding on many levels. Craven builds suspense merely by adjusting the lighting and we get some kill scenes worth applauding. The cast is pretty lush and in horror that means a higher body count. The acting is even decent. Emma Roberts plays Sidney’s cousin. It’s a role that’s a big departure from her teeny booper days. Same goes to Hayden Panettiere. They played some devilish school girls that added some flavor.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Cow. There were a couple of girls behind me and my friends that talked the whole time. They were quite annoying. My friend got up to stretch during the end credits and they shouted at him to sit down. An incident occurred between them. I tried to defuse the situation but they just targeted me. I lost my temper and said to one of the girls, “I don’t say this very often but you’re a cow.” Only I didn’t say cow. I said a word much worse that I shouldn’t type here. Just don’t sit behind me at the theater and talk the whole time. If you do you’re a cow.

A SECOND OPINION: “Though I am a huge horror movie buff, I rarely go to see them in theaters anymore because I have become consistently disappointed. However, when I heard about Scream 4, my interest was piqued. When I heard that Wes Craven was directing and the original characters were coming back, I knew I’d be in for a treat.

My only worry was that the established characters would exist solely as an audience draw and would be killed off quickly. <spoiler>Luckily, this was not the case.</spoiler> Scream 4 enchanted me because it stayed true to the original formula, had me guessing until the end and featured non-stop excitement and laughs.

To me, it was better than the sequels though nothing will ever top the original. Even with all the slasher films under my belt, some of the kills in Scream 4 still sent chills up my spine.

Favorite Quote: “You forgot one thing about remakes, don’t f*** with the original”- Louie Barra

Your Highness (dir. David Gordon Green, 2011)

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 17:48:00 -0400

PLOT OVERVIEW: Thadeous (Danny McBride) and Fabious (James Franco) are brothers. Fabious is far more beloved for being a great warrior. Thadeous gets to test his metal on a quest though when Fabious’ bride gets kidnapped by the evil warlock Leezar (Justin Theroux). Now fit in Natalie Portman and dick jokes and you’ve got the rest of the movie.

I should start by saying this movie isn’t terrible. It’s just not very good. Not because it’s poorly written, acted or directed. The problem is the movie just isn’t very funny. I went into Your Highness expecting a spoof of fantasy films. Instead I got a straight up fantasy flick. It makes for a good one too. They’ve got an interesting mix of characters, monsters and quests that would make a fan of fantasy films very happy. I didn’t come for a fantasy film though. I came for a comedy written and starring Danny McBride who I find hilarious on Eastbound & Down. The jokes are horrible. Instead of writing out gags the characters just say “fuck” a lot. That’s about it. Monster shows up. Danny McBride gets scared and says, “Fuck this,” then runs away. This gets copy pasted throughout the entire film. That gag and another involving pedophilia. The movie doesn’t try to poke fun at the narrative tropes that occur in fantasy films. Not like movies like Airplane and The Baxter do. Instead we just get a feeling of what it would be like if Frodo and Sam talked about dicks in between doing cool shit. Because of the lack of spoofing, the characters of Natalie Portman and James Franco becomes cookie cutter. We get your run of the mill noble knight without a single character flaw and your run of the mill ass kicking babe. They play their characters straight the entire time which would be fine if there were any jokes to play off of. The characters Justin Theroux and Zooey Deschanel play are easily the worst. Deschanel gets one funny gag early on but then the rest of the film might as well have been played by a cardboard cut out of Zooey Deschanel. Theroux had to say the worst lines. He’s a warlock that’s also perverted. So he refers to things like ‘The Fuckening.’ The whole joke is that the word fuck is in there Get it? Get it?!?

WHAT’S THE WORD: Green. The word is green in honor of the director David Gordon Green. DGG got his start making independent art house fare such as Real Women Have Curves and Snow Angels (Great movie by the way). Then he got the gig directing Pineapple Express. He did a lot of things in that film to keep it from being another lazily made stoner comedy. Not here though. DGG let me down by just succumbing to whatever the cast wanted to do. The whole film is directionless. Why? Maybe everybody forgot he’s a credible director and instead thought they hired Dennis Dugan; someone who has made a career out of taking orders from actors.

A SECOND OPINION: “You can’t call it a stoner comedy if there are only two scenes of pot smoking. They did have that one scene that was flooded with topless chicks though. Kudos.”- Papa Laier

Insidious (dir. James Wan, 2011)

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 20:24:18 -0400

PLOT OVERVIEW: Josh (Patrick Wilson) and Renai (Rose Byrne) move into a darling new home with their darling family but there is nothing darling about the evil spirits creeping around at all hours of the day. I’m sure Josh and Renai would invite them in for some tea but they insist on possessing their son instead. You just can’t please some spirits.

Horror movies have their trends. Recently torture porn became a big thing. Instead of spooks and scares; horror movies were just being grotesque. Why be compelling when you can show multiple characters get eviscerated. That has thankfully died out in favor of movies about vampires or zombies. So how fitting is it that the writer/director combo that gave us Saw, Leigh Whannell and James Wan, would give us a departure from that trend with their third film outing. I liked the first Saw film and I’m one of the rare people who thought Dead Silence was nifty. I don’t know why they don’t make more films. They are the kind of horror movie auteurs that could give the genre the kick in the pants it needs. They should at least be making more movies than M. Night does.

Insidious is sort of a throwback to films such as the original House on Haunted Hill. It’s a PG-13 movie but manages to be more terrifying than anything else in the last couple years. That’s because James Wan understands illusion in film making. He doesn’t elect for computer effects to get his scares. He puts things in the background and foreground quite casually but with a bizarre juxtaposition. It is that very combination of casualness and bizarreness that makes you yelp a little when you see something. Wan achieves his vision through great set design, costuming, make up and staging. This film is nice to watch if only to look at the little tricks Wan is able to pull off.

The writing is strong for the most part. The premise grabs you but once it’s time to explain it all (Clarissa), the film gets a little too bogged down in explanation. Considering that this is a ghost film, the third act isn’t that much of a stretch but the execution is off. Where I should’ve been amped up I was kind of just nodding my head along. As if to say, “Okay but then what.” If you’ve seen Saw and Dead Silence than you know that Whannell ususally drags his feet in the third act because movies have to end somehow. I really loved this movie but I’ll be damned if it couldn’t have been better.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Funhouse. The experience I had watching this movie was much the same as walking through one of those funhouses at the county fair. I saw it with a group of friends in a pakced theater at midnight. (The only way to watch a horror film.) We were yelping in each other’s ears and grabbing each other the entire time. So grab a group of friends and watch this in the dark. Rent it on Halloween also. I’m sure it’ll be on DVD by then.

A SECOND OPINION: This is where Kam’s review belong but Kam is either lazy or forgetful. Let me try to paraphrase for him. “PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSSSSSSSGGGGGGGGG. I liked it. Better than 27 Dresses and I’m not being tongue-in-cheek. I loved 27 Dresses.” Yes, Kam. We know you do.

Oh The Horror

Wed, 30 Mar 2011 19:50:42 -0400

Taking some time out from the usual reviews to talk about a matter that has been on my mind the last couple of days. The other night I watched Rob Zombie’s Halloween II. Zombie is somebody I’ve had high hopes for as a horror director but now after having watched all four of his features I have to say I’m disappointed. He’s made the same movie four times now and even then House of a 1,000 Corpses was an extended Rob Zombie music video to me. I’m not writing a article meant to bash Rob Zombie. This is about my love of horror movies and what I think could be done to help the genre thrive.

First thing’s first. The remakes have got to stop and I know I’m not saying anything new but seriously. We’ve seen new versions of Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Leatherface and Freddy Kruger. Are any of them lighting the same fire they did in their original carnations? Nope. That’s because there isn’t any mystery to it. These films have to live up to the originals which they can’t because we already have an idea about what it’s like for a killer to stalk our dreams or be confronted by a guy with a chainsaw. No one is surprised because the well has gone dry on these characters. I love them to death but the only way to make Jason Voorhees interesting at this point is to make him be the antithesis to the slasher genre. Have him, Freddy and Michael in a remake of Three Men and A Baby. I’m sure it would be great but then we’re not making a horror film anymore.

Reboots work for adventure and action films. That’s because Batman and James Bond are human beings with a moral compass that’s out of whack sometimes. Also, you can cast a new face to the role. Robert Englund is the only acceptable Freddy and the other three don’t talk. No one cares if Tyler Mane is playing Michael Myers or if it’s just a stuntman. The actor is going to be covered by a mask or make up anyway. The horror movie icons are going to keep hacking and slashing because they’re inhuman. That’s what makes them terrifying.

So let’s make up some new characters. I know people are trying. Adam Green has the right idea with the Hatchet movies but unfortunately those aren’t taking off. Here’s an idea. Why not create a horror movie character that is female? A mutant woman that is relentless. A change of gender could create a new dynamic that horror movies need. I’m not talking about a “who’s killing everyone?” kind of movie where it turns out to be the piano teacher because she’s jealous of all of her students. I mean a badass, in your face, cut your throat, give no fucks chick with a crowbar for a weapon. Get Dot-Marie Jones to play her. That would be sick.

We also need a new school of horror films auteurs. Who do we have? Eli Roth? Not nearly active enough. James Wan? Same applies to him. Rob Zombie? I’m not sold on him. There was a time when John Carpenter, Wes Craven and Dario Argento were cranking out lots of films and they had a massive following. The torch needs to be passed along so horror fans can start marking their calenders again. Saw I and Paranormal Activity are good one and done movies but we need something better. Anybody got any ideas?

Sucker Punch (dir. Zack Snyder, 2011)

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 21:54:52 -0400

PLOT OVERVIEW: ??????????????????????????????????????

Well well well. I don’t even know where to begin. Sucker Punch is the ambitious new project from Zack Snyder who made a name for himself by adapting the popular graphic novels Watchmen and 300. This time Snyder takes us for a spin in what is his first original work. The result is not good. The movie opens up just like any other Snyder film. ‘Hip’ music plays over the opening sequence to a series a slow motion shots that are as detailed as a single button spinning on a floor board. Snyder uses this style so much that he is becoming a parody of himself. He’s worse about it than Wes Anderson is about using Futura font.

Anyway, after the usual Snyder tropes the story kicks in. Only it doesn’t. The movie goes from being about one thing to another. What was once a mental institution is now a burlesque house. Just when you get cozy with whatever just happened; it all changes again. What was once a dance studio is now a dojo. Then the action sequences take place.

I thought the action sequences would be the saving grace of this film but I was taken aback by how uninspiring they all were. Our characters go through all these fantasy worlds inspired by other film genres. Snyder at times looks to be giving a film history lesson and other times trying to make up for all the genres he may not be able to tackle in his career. Certainly not if people are counting on him the save the Superman film franchise.

There’s no believable plot device that guides us through these fantasy worlds. Baby Doll (Emily Browning) starts dancing and all of a sudden she’s fighting nazi zombies. Yet everyone else is doing not so exciting things back in the real world whilst no one is sure what’s actually going on in the mental institution that I’m not even sure is suppose to be the reality of it all.

The ending is a cop out also. Something about the viewer getting to decide the story or some crap like that. Seems like it’s my fault I washed a movie I never understood.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Sympathy. I felt bad for a lot of the actors here. Carla Gugino is usually delightful but here it seems she thought she had been cast as Natasha from the Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons. Jon Hamm has a cameo were he doesn’t get to do anything interesting but speculate. Emily Browning looks like such a sweetheart but I don’t buy her as a badass. I did however enjoy Oscar Isaac who played the character of Blue Jones. His character was on evil auto pilot but at least he had a lot of fun with the role. Something no one else seemed they got to do with theirs.

A SECOND OPINION: “Two minutes into Sucker Punch, Paul asked me if we could leave. I should have taken him more seriously. Instead, we sat through almost two hours of nazi robots, showgirl hookers, samurai schoolgirls, orcs, dragons, and killer robots - all of which sounds good in theory but when mashed up together becomes a festering stew of boring confusion. Zack Synder should have just taken the old adage “everything in moderation” to heart if he wanted to save this one.”- Leah Herman

The Lincoln Lawyer (Dir. Brad Furman, 2011)

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 19:04:32 -0400

PLOT OVERVIEW: Mick Haller (Matthew McConaughey) is a defense attorney with balls of steel. He takes on the case of Louis Roulet (Ryan Phillippe); a rich kid accused of beating up a hooker. Louis swears he is being set up but as Mick presses further into the investigation, he believes that he is the one being set up.

Matthew McConaughey was once a serious actor before he started taking lead roles in dumb movies like Fool’s Gold and Sahara. He was in A Time To Kill and Amistad and he was good in them. I guess somewhere around The Wedding Planner it became easier for a handsome young man with blond hair and a six pack to collect a paycheck in romantic comedies. That’s why it is such a breath of fresh air to see him in The Lincoln Lawyer. He still brings a good amount of smug and surfer charm to the role but it’s not his fault if Mick Haller has a heck of a lot more fun than Michael Clayton.

The rest of the cast rounds out well too with your usual characters in the background to add a shot in the arm to otherwise secondary scenes inserted for the sake of plot development. Bill Macy and Bryan Cranston are just a few of the names that pop up.

The movie is based on a book by Michael Connelly who if you’ve read any of his novels; can tell would much rather write Hollywood action films. Bizarrely enough the only other one of his books to be adapted into a movie Blood Work. Buy up the film rights to a couple more, Hollywood. I want to see a Mick Haller film franchise. Watch him as he cruises around Hollywood getting drug dealers back on the streets while still making time to take his daughter to soccer practice. Seriously, Haller is a great lawyer who isn’t a shitty dad? He’s already more interesting than the Green Lantern.

The only problem with the film is the end draws on like a novel but where you know you’re not quite down because of the extra fifty pages left in the book; you get fooled into thinking it’s all over. The only reason it keeps going is to wrap some plot details you’ve long forgotten about. Also, to give Mick Haller one more cool guy thing to do. There is no shortage of scenes with him in the titular lincoln town car.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Whim. I absolutely saw this on a whim. I was having a beer on my pool deck when I had the urge to watch McConaughey lay his legal dick all over the silver screen. I was rewarded for my trouble. I wish more movies you didn’t intend to see in the first place were always this good and the movies I went to see on purpose didn’t disappoint me. I think I just want every single movie to be good. Why hasn’t Hollywood thought about doing this?

A SECOND OPINION: “Oh! He’s the Lincoln Lawyer because he rides around in a lincoln. I thought he was just defending Abraham Lincoln for a weird sex crime that took place in modern times. Still sounds cool though.”

Monsters (dir. Gareth Edwards, 2010)

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 12:51:04 -0500

PLOT OVERVIEW: Andrew (Scoot McNairy) is a photographer in Mexico who must chaperone his boss’ daughter, Sam (Whitney Able), back to the states. The task is complicated because aliens have been roaming around Mexico for the last six years. Are aliens in Mexico a really blunt allegory?

Let me go on the record as stating that I thought Monsters was going to be pretty sweet. I though it was going to be like the Amazing Race with aliens thrown into the mix. Instead, Monsters is mostly a crappy love story. The movie opens with Andrew and Sam meeting and then bonding as they head back to the states. I was fine with it for the first half hour because I thought the movie was trying to make everything as normal as possible before the really bizarre stuff happened. Instead, the movie was a repetition of this sequence with the aliens taking a back seat to Andrew and Sam’s brewing love.

You see, Sam is engaged and Andrew has a kid. They speak in depth about how these events have misshapen their lives individually. Then they hear rustling in the bushes and stare for a few minutes before moving on to more philosophical conversations about owning a pet. Not a single person gets their face ripped off.

Director Greth Edwards pulls triple duty as he is also the writer and the director of photography. You could make an argument for the script being some kind of deconstruction of a monster movie thus making it unique but Edwards can’t shoot a night scene for shit. This is when we mostly see the aliens and by see I mean look at amoebic shapes that are suppose to be aliens. You can hardly make out what is going on in these scenes. It’s strange because the day scenes are wonderfully done. It makes me wonder if the actual DP quit halfway through the movie and then Edwards refused to give him the film credit and inserted his own name instead.

The ending is a strained metaphor for love or something. Two aliens float around a gas station cooing at each other and tangling up their tentacles in an embrace. Andrew and Sam watch this go down and decide they are in love with each other. Then the kiss and the movie ends. It’s super cheesy and just stupid. Those aliens should’ve torn their heads off.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Casserole. This movie had scenes and plot details that seemed to be lifted from other movies. Movies that don’t even fit together thematically. I was reminded of films like District 9, Apocalypse Now, Leap Year, The Happening and The Crazies while I watched it. You end up with a clump of other movies rolled into one.

There is one scene where Sam and Andrew walking into a desolate town. They coming across an older woman pushing a shopping cart and talking to herself. They ask her where all the other people have gone. She stops and stares at them for two minutes before responding, “Quack! Quack! Quack! Woof!” This about sums up my opinion of the movie.

A SECOND OPINION: I’m glad I didn’t have a guest critic for this movie. I would’ve hated my guts for suggesting we watch it.

Rango (dir. Gore Verbinski, 2011)

Sat, 05 Mar 2011 13:22:56 -0500

PLOT OVERVIEW: Rango (Johnny Depp) is a house pet that finds himself trapped in the Mojave Desert after a traffic accident. He arrives to the town of Dirt and makes up a new persona for himself; soon becoming the town’s new sheriff. Rango has to solve the water crisis before the entire town is doomed.

I don’t think Gore Verbinski gets much credit as a visionary director. His previous successes Pirates of the Caribbean and The Ring were adapted works that most people credit the original source for. His other films such as The Mexican and The Weatherman aren’t nearly as commercially successful as his other work but go back and watch 1997’s Mousehunt to get a real dose of what Verbinski is capable of. He knows how to blend adventure and comedy perfectly.

Rango comes from a screenplay written by John Logan who boasts such credits as Sweeny Todd and Gladiator on his resume. The writing is particularly good when Rango is delivering full on monologues. They’re quite philosophical while also paying great respect to classic Western films.

The animation is inspiring. I’d say the quality is better than anything Pixar has ever done. Each character has a very detailed look to them that one starts to appreciate as the characters interact with each other. The attention to detail makes everything astounding to look at. The animation also lends itself to a thrill seeking chase sequence through a cavern. Also, a poignant dance number the people of Dirt perform weekly as a tradition. I still can’t believe how beautiful it all looked. Animated films are truly remarkable when trying to accomplish what can’t be done in a live action film rather than just making an animated film about talking birds because you know kids will beg to see it. (Fuck you, Rio.)

The voice acting is remarkable as well. Johnny Depp and the rest of the cast get it. You research it like any other role then make choices using only your voice. You don’t just go in there and sound like yourself. (Fuck you Jesse Eisenberg in the upcoming Rio.) The unique aspect about this though is Gore Verbinski recorded the entire cast acting out each scene together on a sound stage. Not motion capture but ‘emotion capture’ as Depp put it. I love the idea. Verbinski even had the cast wear costumes so they would have a feel for the characters. Make more animated movies like this and less ones like Rio.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Existential. There was one sequence that really struck. Rango is down on his luck and decides to cross a busy highway in the middle of the night. Before that he declares that he is nobody. Rango essentially walks into the abyss with no identity, temporarily relieved of the burden of consequence. That’s pretty deep and heavy for a kid’s movie but pretty awesome for older audience members. I’ve never seen an animated character go through a transition the way Rango did in that scene. Bravo.

A SECOND OPINION: “In a sea of homogenous CGI dreck replete with single eyebrow-raising, smirking protagonists, “Rango” is a pleasant surprise. The film is beautiful, intelligent, macabre, and extremely funny, with subtle pop culture references and cameos littered throughout . Rango is certainly not a kid movie; at least not for the really little folks. The violence even made me squirm a little bit, but probably only because small critters were involved.

Rango is eye candy, and anyone with an appreciation for well-done computer animation will fawn over this movie. Rango has certainly set the bar much higher for CGI children’s movies. I may even say that Rango is the Citizen Kane of this genre. Do yourself a favor and go see it, because it’s going to be talked about for a long time.”- Sandra Mirocha

Red Hill (Dir. Patrick Hughes, 2010)

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 15:48:06 -0500

PLOT OVERVIEW: Shane (Ryan Kwanten) is a cop who moves to the town of Red Hill so his pregnant wife can get some peace and quiet. His first day on the job is rather quaint until news gets out that convicted felon Jimmy Conway (Tommy Lewis) has busted out of jail and is headed for Red Hill. Don’t talk to Shane about rough first days.

This is my second week in a row reviewing an Australian film. This time instead of a crime drama we have what has been referred to as a Vegemite western. I think that term is pretty neat and I’m just glad that I have something to call this along with The Proposition. If Australia can become better known for films like these rather than whatever gushy romance epic Baz Luhrmann cranks out then my mine interest in Australian cinema would’ve peaked sooner.

At first Red Hill plays out like a slasher flick. Jimmy Conway storms through town and starts picking off it’s people one by one for what seems like revenge for having him put away. Jimmy was the best tracker to ever reside in Red Hill. He’s got the tools to hunt a man down and make him beg for mercy. Jimmy also walks around with burn scars on the left side of his face. It is this facial disfigurement that puts Jimmy in the same league as Leatherface and Jason Voorhees.

The thing that puts Jimmy over those classic horror villains is the acting job by Tommy Lewis. Jimmy only has one line throughout the movie at the very end. That leaves Lewis to do much acting with his facial expressions and body movements. It’s a strong demonstration on how an actor can convey such emotion without the use of speech. Plus, he doesn’t get to hide behind a mask like Leatherface or Jason.

Jimmy has all the tropes of a horror movie villain but the story plays out like a western. That’s mostly a result of the setting. Red Hill is a town with dirt roads and buildings made of wood planks. What we have is a horror/western hybrid that is fun to watch but quite tense at the same time. It’s particlularly fun to watch with all the lights out.

The story might not be the freshest but the plot takes a few turns to keep it interesting. There’s a lot know to more about Jimmy than what you get from a first glance. It goes to show that strong writing can make any reused concept seem ripe.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Picturesque. The film was shot in Omeo, Victoria. Director Patrick Hughes takes a few moments in his film to show how beautiful the landscape is. It’s also a horrific reminder just how secluded the town of Red Hill is and how the town’s people is trapped with Jimmy Conway. I look forward to see what Patrick Hughes does with his next feature.

A SECOND OPINION: None today because Bethany Catob didn’t feel she was capable but if you’re interested in watching a movie with me and being my guest critic, leave a comment. The second opinion is my favorite feature on this blog and I need your help to fill it.

Animal Kingdom (dir. David Michod)

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 15:37:06 -0500

PLOT OVERVIEW: J’s (James Frecheville) mom dies so he must go live with his grandmother and his uncles but they’re all criminals so this really screws with his moral compass. How do you do right by betraying your family?

Animal Kingdom comes to us from Australia. We don’t hear a lot about Australian films here in America. Not in the same way we hear about German and French ones. My own exposure to them is limited to later films such as The Proposition and Wolf Creek. Makes me wonder what sort of tropes are common in Australian movies. Tropes other than having Guy Pearce play a role.

Animal Kingdom is a crime drama that is more crime than drama. The main focus is on J and how he manages having to be an accessory to his uncle’s crimes. That gives us scenes of J setting around the house just to provide an alibi. Not very compelling but the film has other devices to get your heart going.

The film has a ghoulish opening title sequence comprised of security camera photos of an assortment of robberies. The stillness of the images is a demonstration of how director David Michod’s camera will operate throughout the film. The camera sits far away as an observer as you watch characters enter dangerous settings. It makes you feel helpless, putting you in J’s shoes.

The cast is composed of some very strong and sadly weak actors. Frecheville is too rigid and stiff to handle such a weighty role. Ben Mendelsohn nails his character down though as well as Jacki Weaver does. Mendelsohn plays J’s Uncle Andrew and sports a sinister stare in every shot. He is a man unhinged. Weaver plays J’s grandmother. You never know if she means to hug you or kill you. It gives all of her lines this double meaning. Rest of the cast pales in comparison though.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Dissonance. Maybe it’s just me but Australian accents are really hard to understand. I should’ve watched this thing with the subtitles on. I didn’t even realize until after the film that one of the characters was named Craig and not Greg. I swear they were calling him Greg the entire time.

A SECOND OPINION: While it runs at a slower pace than most crime movies, Animal Kingdom uses its pacing effectively, keeping me in grueling anticipation for the next big gut punch. A lot of the characters in Animal Kingdom lack depth— most notibly the semi-Autistic main character, J— but the movie relies most on pacing, story, and smart plot twists. In the end, Animal Kingdom left me exhausted mentally and a little bit satisfied. Animal Kingdom is Australia’s best export since Foster’s and the phrase ‘put some shrimp on the barbie.’- Justin Plemmons.

The Illusionist (Sylvain Chomet, 2010)

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 17:02:53 -0500

PLOT OVERVIEW: An older magician is struggling to get by as he goes from gig to gig performing for embarrassingly small crowds. He meets a young bar maid who believes that his magic is real and it gives our magician what the drive he needs to keep swallowing light bulbs.

Remember when traditional hand drawn animation was king? I remember. A lot of the Disney classics such as Aladdin and The Lion King got pumped out when I was a little kid. Then a little movie called Toy Story emerged and it wasn’t long before Hollywood gave up on releasing 2D animated films until the recent revival in The Princess and The Frog but that was a revival that didn’t include many followers. One might be lead to think that 2D just paled in comparison to 3D as an art form but then one would be very wrong.

Here we have Sylvain Chomet, a French dude that still very much believes in the wonderment of 2D animation. Chomet works from an original screenplay by Jacques Tati. The film very well could have been shot live action but then you wouldn’t get the caricatures Chomet has created. Whether it be a frumpy circus clown or a larger than life rock star. We know more about Chomet’s characters by simply

looking at them than we ever would be hearing them speak. This is something that is lost in 3D animation. There’s a large focus on making people look so real that you don’t get the cartoony details that sub in as character traits. It has become a lost form in Hollywood animation land.

The film is sluggish at times. It’s the result of having hardly any dialogue and when someone does speak it is in another language. No subtitles either. Chomet is punishing those of us that dragged ass in French class.

I didn’t much like the character of Alice. She’s the young bar maid that the magician befriends. She was so bobble headed. I couldn’t muster up any sympathy for her as she merely gestured for the magician to make something appear. Pay the price of admission like the rest of us, Alice.

WHAT’S THE WORD: Somber. The film is delightful but caps itself off with a somber ending. Magic isn’t real and the magician must find a new calling in life. I couldn’t help but think Chomet was making to same declaration to 2D animation.

A SECOND OPINION: “The Illusionist draws you to the deathbed of magic and lets you carefully observe the cancerous real world grow over all of the little fantastical things that happen not only in old time stage shows, but in everyday life. This film is heartbreaking and the story spins out at a slow pace, so don’t expect anything too Hollywood. Still, if you have room in your soul for the sorry tale of a caring, lonely old man and a young teen girl who wants to believe that he can make something out of nothing, then you will appreciate the subtle touch of this film.” - Leah Herman.